30 Years of Brokenness... Now What?

I am a God-fearing, stumbling-toward-Jesus man of 41 years. Husband of only 1 wife, married for nearly 17 years. Father of five children in a 1200 sq-ft house ("holy bunk-beds, Batman!"). I'm a "Pastor of Worship" for a growing church in San Diego county. Now much of my experience growing up has been in the shadow of the divorce of my parents when I was 12. This brokenness seems to color virtually every relationship I've formed in the last 30 years. It has shaped my theology ("clearly divorce is the cardinal sin, right?"), greatly influenced what I sought in a spouse... it has even given way for an addiction or two, that I've spent loads of tears, time and money recovering from. Since as far back as I can remember, I have lived in a different home every 3 years or less. Change and upheaval seemed constant and unavoidable.

On Monday, April 11th, I received an email from my father, explaining that after 30 years of being divorced from my mother, they had decided to re-unite with each other. In and of itself, this would have been amazingly great news. But to complicate matters, this reunification requires my parents to first divorce their current spouses (whom I must confess, I'm not emotionally attached to). So now, I find myself in this tangled mess of joy/tears/anger/fear/resentment/giddiness/anticipation... et-cetera, et-cetera, et-cetera.

Now, this giant ball of yarn is rolling to a climax of sorts on May 15th, when I'll take my little family to visit my only brother's family in Lake Havasu City, AZ on the occasion of their legal adoption of their two foster children, Luke and Bella. This will be an exceptional gathering, for since my Father (Dick) and Mother (Susan) will be there as well, it will be the first time that we've been in the same room for 17 years, since my and Jenna's wedding. How does this make me feel? I can only compare it to this: I've just won the lottery, and there's a bomb strapped to my chest.

I can't even begin to anticipate how all of this is going to play out. I'm just waiting, watching and praying.